In-Sync
by SailorJulyxo
Summary: L and Light realize that there is something more between them that they had never considered before. L x Light - yaoi. This is my first fanfiction in a long time and my first yaoi.
1. Unexpected Care

"L," Light mumbled, startling the raven-haired insomniac by his side, "for fuck's sake... SLEEP."

L winced, as Light rarely swore... Unless he was angry. "Why do you care if I am awake or asleep, Light-kun?"

"Because, you haven't had a proper night sleep in three days."

"Why does that bother you, Light-kun?"

Light blinked, he was facing away from L and he was confused as well. He shifted a bit, but didn't turn around. "The light from your laptop is keeping me up and..." he raised his arm slightly, the chain between them jingling as he did so "I can't go sleep on the couch, you can't leave the room, so you should fucking sleep."

This made L curious, of course. Why would Light care? Was he planning something? L decided he would lay there, pretend he was sleeping and wait. "Very well." he replied, before closing his laptop and setting the machine on the floor, near their bed, just in case there was a late night message.

He covered himself with the big comforter, slid down in the bed, and rested his head on a fluffy pillow or three.

Not long after, Light seemed content and asleep, his breathing soft. L stared at the ceiling, his eyes as wide as ever. He was going through various scenarios in his head, however none of them seemed possible as he and Light had been chained together for the last four days and before that, L watched him so closely that he wouldn't have missed a hair out of place.

There was only one thing he could think of, and as he brought his thumb up to run over his bottom lip, he wondered. _"Does Light... Care about me?"_ He remembered saying that Light was his first friend. They were close in age, both geniuses, both serious most of the time.

_"Why does Light care about me?"_ his thumb passed over his lip again, from right to left this time. He didn't sigh. He didn't decide he did, indeed, need sleep. Instead, he stared. His eyes were fixed on the ceiling, despite the darkness of the room. He went over every possible scenario over and over again, until the light from the sunrise started peeking through their curtains and the Light by his side stirred.

Light stretched, yawned and raised his head. He never stayed in bed for long.

L shifted, before sitting up himself. Light looked over and pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing loudly. "You didn't sleep."

"Why do you say that?" L asked, his head tilted slightly, his dark eyes searching Light's honey-colored eyes. Honey... Sweet. L's eyed widened for a moment._ "Just a simple recognition."_ Light didn't notice, his senses still waking up.

"You have even darker circles under your eyes than you did yesterday."

"Good eye, Light-Kun."

"Why didn't you sleep?" Light asked, standing up, his crisp pajamas barely wrinkled. "I couldn't." L replied, sitting up into his normal position, even in bed. He was still in his white long-sleeved shirt and baggy blue jeans.

"Why?"

"I was thinking..." L started, before he ran his thumb over his bottom lip. "About the Kira case, of course."

Light gave him a weird look, before shaking his head. "It's hard to stop thinking about the case, but if you don't sleep, L... Your senses won't be as shape as they normally are."

L frowned. Is this why Light wanted him to sleep? "Actually, Light," he said with a cold tone to his voice that made Light raise an eyebrow. "The less I sleep, the more time I have to think, which equals less time wasted which equals finding Kira faster. Plus," he motioned towards his head, "I can't sleep."

Light sighed. He realized he wouldn't push L to get some damn sleep, maybe he could do something later that night, a cup of tea or a sleeping pill. No, the latter wouldn't work. He wasn't Kira for fuck's sake and L would think he was if he fucking drugged him.

"I need a shower before we start working."

"Of course, Light." L jumped down from his side of the bed and walked over, motioning towards the bathroom. Light walked in, keeping the door open a crack, the chain still connecting the two of them.

"Light..."

"Yes, L?" Light snapped, he was already covered in soap and didn't want to be disturbed during his morning shower.

"Do you have another reason for wishing I would sleep?"

"What are y-"

"Because what could Kira do when I sleep? There is nothing in this room or the others that I would not be aware of. I know you cannot pick the handcuff locks, for I tested them myself."

Light sneered, he definitely wasn't Kira and he didn't like L acting high and mighty, smarter than him. He snapped once again, but his words didn't come out quite right - or did they? "If you don't sleep, you will start feeling sick."

L blinked, one hand resting on his knee and the other was holding a package of Swedish fish, which he just ripped open with his teeth. "Uh, L?" Light asked.

"Yes, Light-Kun?"

Light didn't miss the added honorific and warmed tone in L's voice and rinsed off, absolutely confused by this conversation.

"...You were quiet."

"Aren't I quiet most of the time?"

Light rolled his eyes. This time, he was the quiet one.


	2. Thoughts

Every now and then throughout the morning and afternoon, Light's honey colored eyes would cross L's mind. He frowned.

Meanwhile, Light was sitting by his side, one leg crossed over the other, a folder in his hands. He rubbed his eyes for a second, before re-reading the words on the page in front of him, because he didn't read them the first time. His mind was busy.

_"Why is L acting so weird?"_ he thought. He glanced over, right as L frowned. Light's eyes returned to the page, and he attempted a third read.

L rolled his chair backwards, towards the kettle on the table behind him and poured himself some tea. He added a... few... sugar cubes, before rolling back to his desk. Then he rolled back to the table and returned a few moments later to hand Light a cup of tea. Light nodded a polite thank you. Once L returned to his desk and seemed to be staying there, Light took a small sip. The tea was so overly sweetened that he thought he would gag. But he forced himself to take another sip. Whatever L's problem was, he didn't want to contribute.

L knew Light didn't like sugar. How he could not like sugar, he didn't know. But from his crouched position and with his hair in front of his eyes, he was able to watch the sandy-haired boy take a sip, grimace and keep drinking. This puzzled him. "_He's being very nice."_ L thought.

_"Why is he being so nice?"_

_"Why is he being so weird?"_ Light thought.

Both glanced at each other fully at the same time. Light chuckled awkwardly, before going back to the page. _"Fourth time's the charm." _

L looked around, most of the lights were off and the rest of the task force had left for the night. "Can we stop for the night?" Light asked, never looking up.

"I never stop."

"L..."

"Of course."

Both men stood up at the same time. They were so in-sync. Great minds think, and apparently act, alike.

The chain jingled as they walked side-by-side back to their room.

Once they were inside, Light locked the door as L never did. He wondered why, but he shook his head, clearing the thought. He didn't need to know everything about L. "_Yet."_ he thought, shocking himself. What? Well okay, L is a wonderful partner in fighting crime. But that's all.

L headed for the refrigerator as Light headed for a cabinet next to the small stove. He looked past the boxes of sugar cubes and a package of cookies and a few bags of candies. He finally found what he was looking for, a simple box of tea made specifically for relaxation.

He picked up the box and chuckled, looking behind him towards L who was already shoving a forkful of cake into his mouth. "I'm surprised that you even have this."

L ate another bite of cake. "I suppose that was stocked before we moved in."

Light nodded and started preparing the tea. L watched him. They were so comfortable around each other, which left an odd feeling in his stomach. This is the man he's convinced is a murderer, who is standing there making a relaxing cup of tea for himself.

Light turned on the stove, putting the kettle on. He glanced down. Here he and L were, him and the greatest detective, living together and locked together. Outside of the chain and handcuffs, why did this seem so normal?

Once he was finished brewing the tea, he poured himself and L a cup each and took an opened box of sugar cubes out of the cabinet. He laid them down on the counter. L was finished with his cake now. He walked forward, crouched over, giving Light an odd look.

"Thank you, Light-Kun." he said, his voice a whisper. He popped a sugar cube into his mouth before placing a handful into his tea and stirring the drink with a small silver spoon.

The men headed for the living room together. Light sunk down into the couch, one leg crossed over the other like usual while L sat down in his usual position. "Must you really sit like that?"

"Yes."

"Have you ever sat differently?"

"Yes."

"So why can't you do so now?"

"Because I am thinking."

"Were you not thinking when you sat differently?"

"Of course I was thinking..."

"About?"

"Why are you so curious about my life this evening, Light-Kun?" L asked, swirling his tea around in his cup as he stared at Light's face and recognized an emotion of embarrassment cross his features. "Well, we are chained together. I would like to know more about the man I am living and working with. Is that so strange?"

"Mm. I suppose not." L answered.

"You know more about me than I know about you, L. You fucking watched me for how long?"

"I will tell you more about myself later, Light-Kun."

"Right." Light replied, before standing up and walking to the kitchen, pulling L from his spot on the couch. He heard a small "oof!" from the detective and smirked. He washed his cup and walked into the living room. "...You spilled your tea. Really, L?"

"You spilled my tea."

Light had enough for the night, and despite knowing that the stain would bother him all night, he had enough. He headed for the bedroom this time, dragging L along. L wasn't pleased.

"I need to take my second shower." Light said and went into the bathroom, leaving L crouched down outside the door.


	3. He Hated L Really

**So, um, before I begin this chapter... Hi! I thought I would include a note. ^_^; As I said, this is my first fanfiction in a long time and my first yaoi. L and Light are such a wonderful couple, in my opinion! I don't know how good this story is or will be, however I am trying my best. I would love a review, but it's not necessary! I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

"Misa's asking if she can see me." Light said, rather than asked, glancing over towards L as the detective was shoving a donut into his mouth. "I don't think that would be a good idea, Light-Kun."

"You can tell her that." Light replied, walking over with the phone - which was tapped, of course.

L frowned; the last thing he needed was a bubbly blonde squealing in his ear while he was attempting to read a file he brought in with him. He was in his and Light's apartment, and they were about to enjoy coffee and donuts and talking about the case.

But instead, Misa interrupted, annoying them both. Not that they told each other that.

Though, Light's grimace as he picked up the telephone and L's blank look when he heard "Hello, Misa" was enough. They didn't need words.

"Fine," L said quietly, "she can come over."

"She wants to see me privately."

"I don't care what she wants."

"He doesn't care what you want."

The angry yelling caused Light to move the phone away from his ear, before sighing. "Just come over and we'll talk, okay? Thank you. Yes. I will see you soon." and Light hung up instantly; he had no time for Misa's "I love you!" and kissing sounds.

"She asked if we can at least talk by the door, or in a corner..."

L sighed, and flatly said "Fine. But you do realize I will be watching your every move, don't you?"

"Of course I do. You're a creep."

L rolled his eyes.

* * *

Light was sitting down on the couch next to L and passed him a donut while reading the file, but neither interested him right at the moment. He did, however, drink his coffee.

L sipped his coffee and nibbled on another donut or rather shoved half of the thing into his mouth, causing Light to sigh. Right then, a dainty yet demanding knock interrupted them from their quiet moment and Light stood up.

He moved to the door. He still couldn't remember why he started dating Misa. She wasn't his type. She didn't have the intelligence. "_L does."_ Light thought, before glancing back towards the crazy-haired man, who stared into his eyes with those wide eyes of his own.

Light wondered if L could read his mind, before smiling and laughing off as he reached for the doorknob.

Misa flung herself around Light's neck, saying hello and screaming about how much she had missed him. He had been so busy, and L of course didn't trust her very much and trusted Light even less.

He watched, even as Misa looked over with a frown. "Eat your donut and leave us alone!" L just stared ahead.

Light sighed, he was sighing a lot tonight. L saw the rise of his shoulders, and the fall. He could hear the soft sound escaping his mouth. "Don't bother, Misa... Darling." he seemed to choke on the word. Maybe he dated her out of pity? Misa just grabbed him again, kissing him quickly, getting some of her lipstick on his mouth - which Light desperately wanted to wipe away, but he knew she would throw a fit if he did.

"What did you want?" he asked after a moment, and of course Misa just blinked. "To see you!" she answered, before frowning. "Didn't you miss me?"

"Of course." Light said, forcing a smile. He hadn't really. She gave him a headache every time they talked. Misa glanced past Light again, frowning as L continued staring at them. She glanced back to Light and laid her head on his chest. She could hear his heart beating wildly and figured he was turned on by her hug. She giggled.

But that wasn't a sweet giggle. She raised her mouth up to his ear and whispered: "Kira should kill him."

Light's hand twitched, before forming into a fist, though he didn't realize. His heart beat sped up. Misa could tell, and L could see his fist.

He grabbed the chain, pulling Light back quickly, and Light landed on the ground. He glanced back. "Fucker!" he yelled, embarrassed. L just stared at him; he didn't dare accuse Light right then.

Misa wondered if he heard her. He hadn't. What did happen, though, was that he saw Light getting ready to... Well, to hit Misa, he thought. That wasn't like him - as Light or Kira - and he knew something was wrong.

Did she say something positive about Kira? Light had been acting like he hated Kira and maybe right now, he was just putting on a good show.

Show or not, trying to hurt Misa-San wouldn't work. "RYUZAKI!" she screamed, before rushing over to Light as he stood up, brushing himself off, sputtering slightly. "Just leave, Misa. I need a word with... Ryuzaki."

"Fine..." Misa said, before sticking her tongue out at L and calling him an asshole as she walked away, slamming the door as she did left.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT, L?!" Light screamed. L knew it wasn't because his moment with Misa was interrupted. No. He embarrassed the poor high and mighty Light.

"You looked as if you were going to be violent." he replied, before picking up another donut.

"I... I wasn't going to be?" Light said or rather asked, an eyebrow raised, now confused and a bit curious.

"You made a fist, Light-Kun..." L replied, making a fist himself before running his finger over his lip, this time mainly to get some powdered sugar off so he could pop his thumb in his mouth, not missing even the smallest bit of his favorite donuts.

"What? No I didn't." Light said, sinking into the armchair across from the sofa.

"No. You did."

L waited a moment. "What did Misa-San say to cause such a reaction?"

Light's eye twitched without consent and of course, L noticed. "Nothing that would offend me." He replied. He hated L. He didn't like him. He didn't. L accused him of being Kira! L still truly believes that Light is Kira!

Light is chained to L! He has hardly any privacy and so, he figured that he was shocked over Misa's positive attitude about Kira. Yes. Yes, that was why.

But he couldn't say she said something vile about L, because that would be ridiculous. He couldn't say that she said something positive about Kira, because that would further the suspicion of them both being Kira.

He sighed. "I don't know."


	4. Sick

**WOW, you wonderful people who reviewed, thank you so much! I love that you're reading and enjoying this story and that even though it's been fluff for the most part, so far, that I've captured your interest! High-five! (^_^)^**

* * *

Light woke up, and he blinked as the room was filled with sunshine. He glanced down and as his vision cleared, he realized that he was late for work. Normally L's noise, quiet as the man was, would wake him up or L would wake him up on purpose.

He looked around, confused. L wasn't in the room. He glanced over and L was lying on the bed, snoring lightly. L was... Sleeping?

L's normally pale face was flushed. Light frowned, leaning forward. Was he... Sick? He never really thought that L got sick, in fact, he thought of him as rather invincible. Save for Kira killing him.

L didn't even sleep. He _should_ - but he didn't and Light figured that is why he was in bed with a fever.

He tugged the chain between him and L. "Come on, L. I need to make a phone call. You've got to come with me."

"Noooo..." L whined, without opening his eyes and soon he was snoring again. Light sighed. Another wave of embarrassment colored his face red as he stood up, leaned down, and scooped L up. He walked into the living room so that he could set L down on the couch and make a phone call. He really hated this fucking chain.

While carrying him, L snuggled against Light. He froze. Wha... Light never really... touched anyone. He wasn't comfortable with being touched. Sayu and Misa were hard enough for him to handle, but one was his sister and the other, his... girlfriend. So he gritted his teeth and said nothing.

Light dumped L on the couch and walked to the phone. He called his father's number. "Dad, can you put me through to Watari?"

* * *

Before even half an hour went by, there was a knock on the door and Light stretched, grabbing the door knob with his free hand. L had turned over, pulling the chain taunt between them. Matsuda was standing there, with a bag that he held out to Light.

"Um, everything is in there. Including the soup. But, uh, can you even make the soup?" his eyes glanced down towards the chain. "No." Light said, angrily. Matsuda winced. "I'm sorry! Uh. I'll help you!"

Matsuda walked into the kitchen and started searching for a pot. Once he found the one that he was looking for, Light handed him the can of chicken noodle soup. When he was sick as a little kid, his mom would force a bowl of chicken noodle soup on him. He hated when she did that. He didn't need babying...

Neither did L.

But still.

L was sick.

Light didn't like that L was sick.

* * *

L blinked, feeling as pressure in his head that he didn't like. He sneezed. Ugh.

He never sneezed.

"Good. You're finally awake. Eat this." Light said, pushing the bowl of soup that rested on the living room table towards him. Light could have poisoned his food, maybe. He could have done a lot of evil deeds while L was asleep. How long was he asleep? Wait, when did he walk to the couch?

But the poor genius sat up, shivered despite being in his white long-sleeved shirt, and tasted the soup. Light was searching the linen cabinet. L coughed. "There's no sugar in this."

Light groaned. "Why would there be sugar in soup?!"

"It's disgusting."

"It's real food. Eat." he replied as he walked towards L and draped a blanket over his shoulders. L looked up and blinked. Light blinked back before awkwardly going over to the chair opposite of him and sunk down into the cushion.

"I talked to Watari. He said you're impossible when you're sick... So am I. But still, we need your help on the case, so you've got to get better - and quickly."

L frowned and nodded. "Really, Watari?" he whispered.

"Where did you get this-" he took another spoonful of the soup, making a face as he swallowed.

Light rolled his eyes. "I had Matsuda bring up some food, and water." Light reached down, pulling the water bottle out of the bag. "That's even worse than soup."

"For fuck's sake, L."

"Whatever..." his voice was so childish that Light laughed.

L narrowed his eyes. Light laughed more.


	5. Distance

**Thank you again for every lovely review! I ****_wish_**** I could wait for a while between chapters, but I just can't. I believe that this story will be much longer than I ever thought! I should mention, since I haven't already, unless it's one or two words, ****_italic _****equals thoughts. Also! I mentioned OCD in this post. I have severe OCD, so I don't want anyone to think that I am making light of the disorder. Hah, L(l)ight. Anyway! Story time! Enjoy!**

* * *

"Really, L-" Light started, glancing over towards the man on his right. He chuckled. "Sorry, dad."

"It's fine, Light." his dad replied, before turning his gaze back to the computer. He was just used to L. L being there. With him. 24/7. That's all.

Two hours ago, L transferred the handcuff from his wrist to Soichiro's wrist. "I have to go do something very important. I trust you." he said, staring straight into Soichiro's eyes. L's stare often made people feel like he was staring into their soul, leaving them more than a bit uncomfortable. The chief nodded. Light rolled his eyes. Why did L think he was Kira?! Why did his dad go along with all of this bullshit?

"I will be back soon, Light-Kun." L put his hands in his pockets and turned away. Light smiled and replied "I can't wait." He knew L realized that he was being sarcastic.

* * *

Matsuda called headquarters. "Uh... Is Light with you?"

The chief sipped his coffee before answering with a simple "yes."

"Uh... L was walking alone in the park. I thought that, that was strange."

The chief looked confused. Alone? In the park? How was that something very important? He pushed his glasses up slightly, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Alright. Thank you. Let me know if you need anything else."

"I'm already heading back, chief."

"Mm." and he hung up, aggravated. He didn't mind spending time with his son, but he did mind being lied to. "What's wrong, dad? You're upset."

"No, just annoyed. Matsuda wanted to know if I wanted more coffee. But - he's already on his way back, _with coffee_."

Light sighed. He just couldn't be trusted, could he? His dad was a good liar, sometimes. But this was not one of those times. "I didn't even realize he was gone." Light said before looking around while frowning. Soichiro smirked.

* * *

L slipped off his worn sneakers - they were the only pair that he had ever had. He sighed, he was thankful that he could walk around without them on. Some people wondered if he had obsessive compulsive disorder. He _did_ have some quirky habits.

L shoved his hands in his pockets, he fiddled with a charm hanging from his cell phone. He didn't have any sweets with him. He was disturbed. Something was wrong with Light.

He walked from one tree to the other, slouched and deep in thought. "Something is different about his eyes. They don't hold the same look that they did when we first met." He nibbled his thumb. "They.. They hold kindness, and whenever I see him, he's watching me. But he doesn't look like a predator."

He continued nibbling as he talked to himself. "Is he trying to act like the kind boy that people think he is?"

"No. He doesn't watch anyone else. Is he trying to unnerve me?"

_"Well, he's succeeded."_ L thought, he frowned and he paced back to the first tree.

L, normally observant, completely missed a shocked Matsuda standing on the sidewalk with coffee for the team.

_"Is he really Kira? If he isn't, we're wasting time."_

_"No. He is. I am sure that he is. Even if the others aren't..." _

L paced. _"I will bring Kira down." _

_"And Light Yagami is Kira."_

Something about that thought made L feel a bit sick. He shook off the feeling. He wouldn't let Light become anymore of a friend than he already was. Sure, they were equals - in a way. No, they were. But friendship , all friendship can only lead to disaster. L was sure of this.

* * *

Matsuda came back with coffee, still steaming and looking absolutely delicious as everyone was feeling that familiar afternoon drag. Nothing was happening today. For that, they thought, they should be grateful. But really, they were just anxious.

Light and Soichiro stood up in greeting. "Thank you." Light said as he reached for the cup and Matsuda looked confused as the chain jingled between Light and his father. "I don't understand. Why did L leave to go walk in the park? I mean-"

"What." Light said. It wasn't a question. His voice held an anger that made Matsuda uncomfortable. The chief looked over, disapprovingly. Matsuda laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head.

"Sorry! Sorry! Not my business!" he held up his hands like a shield. Like that could really save him in _any_ situation?

Light turned to his father. "L left to go walk in the fucking park-"

"Light!" his dad scolded.

"And I am still stuck here? I can't even go outside? He couldn't take me with him?"

"He looked like he was deep in thought..." Matsuda offered as consolation. Both Light and the chief glared and he backed away.

"Lovely. Just... Lovely. I'm glad he is free to go off and... and wander, and be free. Really. It's wonderful." he yelled, waving his hand with every word.

He gulped down his coffee which burned his throat, but he didn't care. He was pissed.


	6. Breakdown

**I know that this is skipping farther ahead, to the latter part of the Death Note manga / anime, but there's a good reason for that! This is after Light's realized that he is Kira. Thank you again for every review, follow and favorite! The part in bold *points below* is taken directly from the anime. Other than that, the writing is mine all mine. Italics are still thoughts! Enjoy!**

* * *

L was kneeling in front of Light, his depression surrounding him like a sudden darkness, as he moved the white towel across Light's foot, drying him. Light was leaning forward slightly, drying L's dripping wet hair. The silence was comfortable. To be honest, the silence between L and Light while they worked and lived together was always comfortable. But this time, the darkness kept trying to push through and invade their senses. L looked lost and Light was sure that the feeling he, God, felt was scared. He had nothing to be afraid of. Yet here he was, feeling like he couldn't get enough air.

**"How sad..." L started. **

** "What?"**

**"We'll soon part."**

**Light froze, his blood froze. **

"No." one word, one word. L was standing up, "No." Light said again. L was hunched over as he always was, and he knew what was coming, or so he thought. But, every now and then, Kira would do something - something so different, that L would quickly have to gather his thoughts and run each scenario through his head once, twice, and every outcome, once, twice, to find the best possible solution in the shortest amount of time. He stuck his hands in his pockets, he was already prepared.

Light jumped up, shaking, and grabbed L. He pulled him in close. He swallowed and leaned forward and in less than a second, gave L a kiss unlike he had given anyone before. "L, I love you."

* * *

"No. You don't." L said, dully. That wasn't exactly what he was prepared for, but Light - Kira - was dangerous and he was young and he was stupid. He would try to do everything he could to stall, to come up with a fresh plan. "Yes. I do." Light said, except unlike L, his voice held a fierce passion. _"He's lying." _

L stood there, frozen and emotionless. Light looked furious, and L wondered if he would just kill him then and there. But he didn't. What he did do was grab L by his soaking wet, white long-sleeved tee and slammed him down, so that he was sitting on the stairs. He moved to kick Light, but the younger man grabbed his foot and knelt down, and began toweling him off.

_"He's... Lowering himself."_ L's eyes widened for a second. Light - no, Kira - no, Light and Kira, they were individuals in one body, lowered themselves for no one. L didn't quite know what to say. He watched Light - Kira _"he's Kira. He's fucking Kira."_ a lot in the past and he watched him in every room that he went in. He watched him sleep. He watched him while he was using the bathroom. However, right now, he looked away because Light was baring himself in a way that he had never done before.

"Also," Light said, his voice rising slightly. "I'm Kira."

L's head quickly spun around, was this a joke?

"You have no proof, unless you have a security camera somewhere here as well." Light stopped drying L and gestured around the room with his hand, but his eyes didn't leave L's pale foot in his hand.

"I won't tell anyone else, either. You are the only one who should know, except for Misa, of course. But she would never tell anyone, nor do I want anything to happen to her."

His voice was calm, so calm and L wondered again if this was a joke. If so, he still had proof. He had been saying that Light was Kira since the beginning. He was **right**. Maybe he, and Light and Misa, would be the only people who knew. Maybe Light would write his name down, right here and now, or maybe Misa was going to do that for him. L didn't plan on **this**.

"Stop trying to drag this out, Light-Kun." He played calm and in a way, he had already resigned from the case before Light even confirmed his suspicion.

Light's face contorted, fury overtaking his calm look and again, L wondered if this - this moment - was his last. But instead, Light dropped his foot, not caring when he heard L's heel hit the floor. He jumped up and grabbed his own hair, pulling for a moment, before pacing back and forth.

"THIS ISN'T A FUCKING LIE, L!"

Light went over to the wall, pounding the wood with his fist. "WHY CAN'T YOU EVER LISTEN?!"

Kira was throwing a temper tantrum, and L realized how fitting that was.

Light wanted to pound his head against the wall, but he couldn't or rather wouldn't. He didn't want to hurt himself.

"NO. WHY CAN'T YOU ever," he hissed "**ever** believe me?!"

L slid his hands over his face, sighing. "Light - no, Kira..." he glanced up with a slight sneer. "Even if I did, you are a murderer."

"SO ARE YOU!"

L rolled his eyes. "Yes. I've killed. Do you think that that doesn't bother me?"

He stood up again, his hands slipping into his pockets. "But, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few."

"The NEEDS of EVERYONE except for disgusting. Fucking. Criminals!"

"Yet you kill with a flick of the wrist, your weapon your pen and a stupid **book**, never realizing that you may be wrong - or thinking about the families and friends of those you kill, or even their futures and the fact that some of them may change. I think people can change."

Light slammed his fist harder into the wall, his knuckles turned bloody and the wall broke.

"I CHANGED, L. I. CHANGED."

"I HATED YOU," he spat, "FUCK. I STILL HATE YOU!"

He started pacing again. "BUT I LOVE YOU."

"I COULD KILL YOU RIGHT NOW!"

He started staring upwards wildly. "REM! REM!"

The decaying figure slid through the wall across from the one that was punched in. She stared, emotionless. "TELL HIM! I COULD KILL HIM. MISA COULD KILL HIM. YOU, A DEATH GOD, COULD KILL HIM!"

"Yagami, I believe what you've been telling this human," she pointed a bony finger towards L. "But what do you think Misa would do if she realized you do not love her? I already told you, and her, that if you ever hurt her I. will. kill. you." she stabbed her finger into his chest and Light groaned.

"I know. I won't. I'll keep up the charade and you know that this whole relationship that I have had with her has been a charade," Rem shuffled. "Eventually, I will tell her what I feel for L - if he doesn't execute me." Light glared to him, and L was just standing there, hunched over, staring at the two of them with wide eyes. This was... Different. Light was having a breakdown. L figured he finally snapped. But he also believed Rem. Why would a god of Death lie? Especially this one, especially this one that loved Misa and would kill for her.

"I know her. She will probably still love me," Light scratched his hair nervously. "I will take care of her, as a friend, a best friend, a big brother, whatever she needs."

Light started crying. L stared, shocked. "I promise. Please. Don't kill him, don't kill me."

"L!" Light screamed, and L jumped. This was so... **Weird**. So unlike anything that he had ever witnessed. He had seen the craziest shit in his life, or so he thought, until now.

"Where can we go?!"

L blinked. "We? Go?" he shuffled. "You'll be executed soon, Li- Kira. If you truly "love" me, than you will confess."

"NO. I CAN'T. THEY WILL KILL ME, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?! WE NEED TO GO!"

Light pulled his own hair again and his face was still streaked with tears; but now, his anger was making him red in the face and his clenched hands trembled. "L. Where can we fucking go?"

"You can search me before we go. But we... We need somewhere alone, somewhere where we can talk and figure out this fucking shit."

L rubbed the bridge of his nose, and he really wished that he had something sweet right now that he could savor, the sugar would relax him. "London."

Light blinked, he started feeling hopeful. "London?"

"You know I lived there. I have a house, well, an apartment like this one, there."

"I will have Watari take care of the rest. I will have Watari search you."

"Thank you. Thank you!" Light walked over, nearing L so that he could kiss him again, but L just held his hand in front of him, stopping the sandy-haired man. "Li- Kira. No."

Light frowned, but he wasn't going to ruin this beautiful, beautiful chance. He needed to talk to Misa, he had to make sure that she wouldn't do anything stupid. He figured L would handle the rest.

He nodded. "Give me half an hour." L said, and shuffled away. Light started crying again, and he channeled all of the nervousness he felt, the fact that he for once lowered himself, the fact that he was angry and scared and hopeful and had a fucking breakdown, and punched the wall again, creating another hole. He breathed and headed up to the roof again. The sun was shining.


	7. From Death to Doughnuts

**Hello! First, "From Death to Doughnuts" so should have been the title of this story, hah. Second, I keep telling my wife how proud I am of this story, even if it's not the best. Third, thank you for reading / liking / reviewing! Fourth, you'll notice a bold bit after the second line, which I copied directly from the manga. Finally, we have a bit of time jumping during the beginning of this chapter. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

_**The Night Light Remembered**_

When Light realized he was Kira - God - he almost started laughing manically, and without remorse. Everything was going just the way he wanted, just the way he **planned**. Far in the back of his mind, he remembered how much he - as Light - hated Kira. He pushed that thought away instantly and decided to focus on the fact that, right now, all he could think of was how much catching up he had to do.

_"I won..."_

_"Something's different."_ L thought. The feeling between the men had changed once Light picked up the notebook and L knew why, even if no one else would believe him, he believed in himself. He knew that if Light was still Light, he would believe him as well. But he wasn't. He was Kira. L eyed him cautiously.

Light hid his laugh, but once he was facing the opposite way, he allowed a grin to spread across his face.

* * *

Once they were back in the office, Light stood with the rest of the team - knowing that he was so much better than them. He stood by L, he had to, because they were still cuffed together. That was a problem. **"Ryuuzaki, I'm going to take off the handcuffs but would it be okay to continue the investigation here?" Light asked. L paused for a moment. "Yes." he answered. **

* * *

Light walked with L back to their room, and almost like stepping into your house after a vacation, the familiar setting didn't feel right. Everything changed, at least for Light. He stood with his enemy and his enemy stood with his own. Did L know? Of course L knew. **He was L.**

Light wanted desperately to start sending criminals straight to hell again, removing their filth from his world. Obviously, for now, that was out of the question. But soon, soon. He already planned on seeing Misa tomorrow, and soon after, everything would be fine.

But Light didn't feel fine, in fact his stomach turned and he clasped his hand to his mouth before turning his body slightly, faking a cough. He didn't vomit. He **wouldn't** vomit. L stared at him for a moment, before sticking his hands into his pockets and walking off towards the kitchen. Light almost followed, but stopped when he remembered that the chain wasn't holding them together anymore. L didn't talk, and neither did Light.

* * *

_**Less than a week later**_

Light was asleep in bed and L was sitting on the couch and obviously, he was awake. He nibbled his thumb, staring straight ahead, the lights were still on and he wasn't even sure how long he'd been there. He was tired. He knew that if Light had something right now, something of Kira's, i**f Kira had something of Kira's - he needed to stop pretending that they were different people**; he would use that something no matter if L was awake or asleep.

But no, he couldn't sleep because of how he was **feeling**. Some people thought that L didn't feel emotion, which was ridiculous. When had he ever **not**? Light knew when L was depressed. Light **cared**. Light was L's friend, or not. L was a damn good liar. But right now? He did feel like he lost his friend, his best friend, his only friend outside of Watari; and that feeling was horrible.

The normally calm man grabbed a bowl of hard candies and threw the bowl across the room. The sound of the glass hitting the wall, and afterwards breaking, stirred Light. The bedroom door was closed, muffling the sound. He turned over, and just like when he realized he was Kira, his mind filled with pictures.

Memories.

Of L.

But this time, Light didn't feel like God. He didn't feel like God, or Kira or **himself**. What he did feel, deep inside, was a stirring of emotion that reminded him of snuggling with warm blankets when rain fell and lightning flashed across the sky when he was a child. The feeling was warm, and comfortable and safe.

Something woke Light up (a loud "fuck!" from their living room) and he blinked in the darkness. For a moment, in the dark and lost in the warmth of his memories of both L and childhood, he felt like he was just... Light.

He did remember who he was, he did remember his purpose, but he didn't feel the importance that he had earlier. He made his way to the door, surprised that he could even sleep with all of the racing thoughts that had been in his head since he remembered. Briefly Light wondered how long he had slept.

He opened the door to the living room, and L was crouched in his usual position, near the corner, pushing shards of glass into a dust pan.

"What the hell happened, L?" Light asked, scratching his head as he walked further in. L ignored him. Light was decent in reading body language, and realized that L was tense and blocked off, like a physical wall was around him.

Light didn't know what to say, or how to feel. He was confused. "L-"

"Don't bother me, Light."

Once again, the honorific was left off. After hearing L's voice, he remembered that he was Light. Not Kira. But he WAS Kira. He was Kira, he was Kira, he was Kira. He kept telling himself that, that he was Kira and everything would be okay.

But as he turned and walked back to the bedroom that he had shared with L for so long, he realized that this was the worst moment of his life and even the happiest memories of his friend, his **enemy**, couldn't warm him up.

* * *

_**[After "Breakdown"]**_

The handcuff was back on. L and Light were quiet and lost in their own thoughts. Light said goodbye to Misa, and his father and the rest of the task force. L was there the entire time, watching carefully. Misa cried, but perked up when Light whispered something in her ear. L was suspicious, but he had already ordered someone to watch her (and of course, inform him if anything interesting happened.)

Light's father looked confused, and tired, as he eyed Light then L then Light again. "Why do you need Light's help? Why does he have to come with you, and why can't you work from here?"

L blinked dully.

"Dad..."

"No, Light."

L sighed, eyed Light and then sighed again. "Yagami-San, -"

"Soichiro."

"- Soichiro, I wasn't in Japan when I learned of the Kira case. I go where I need to be and right now, I need to be in London. You are well aware that I cannot share details with you about a case that you are not working on."

"Light, do you really want to do this?"

L looked away, this was something he didn't feel comfortable witnessing, and rarely did he feel uncomfortable.

"Yes, dad. I think L and I make a good team. I'll keep in contact with you... I can do that, right Ryuuzaki?"

"Of course." he was still watching the wall instead of the two people on his left.

"See, dad? Everything will be okay. I'll be safe," Light smiled "and I'll make you proud."

L turned his head even more, rolling his eyes. Light knew how to play people so well. Light was playing him and he knew that, but he wanted to see what would come from this little charade. Light - Kira - was childish and this was just a child's game. What L didn't get was **why** Light didn't know that he knew he was being played.

L brought his thumb up to his mouth, biting his nail. "Ryuuzaki!"

L's attention snapped to Soichiro.

"I said, take good care of my son."

L nodded once, before turning around and walking away, dragging Light with him.

"Well," Light said with a small smile once they were out of earshot, "I can't believe that that worked. Good job, L."

"Thank you, Kira."

Once they stepped into the sunlight, Light saw a helicopter waiting for them in a small field nearby. Of course. The chain jingled between them and Light realized that **a.** he couldn't board a flight while handcuffed to L and **b.** L would be uncomfortable on a regular plane, where he wasn't in control (though he probably could be.)

After entering, L walked over to the white leather couch and crouched down. Light followed, as if he had a choice.

"Thank you." he whispered. **Yeah, he sounded like Kira, that's for sure**. Light looked away, rolling his eyes, he was so weak. He wasn't weak, this was different from every other relationship in his life.

* * *

"My birthday is on the 31st." L stated, his voice dull as usual, but Light could hear the curiosity behind the statement. Light frowned. "Why didn't you tell us that?"

"I figured I would be dead by then." L stated, rolling his head against the back of the smooth couch, his eyes meeting Light's. "Well," Light frowned, "you won't be."

"Even you cannot promise that, Light Yagami."

Light sighed. "No. I can't. But **I** wouldn't be the one to kill you."

He quickly added, "Should anyone try and succeed, I will kill them."

"That's the problem, Light." L said, his voice quiet as he looked away.

"What if someone killed Watari?"

L's attention snapped to Light's face, judging him. He relaxed. "I wouldn't." he answered.

"If someone killed my father, my mother, my sister, **you**," Light said, his voice shaky, "I would send them to hell."

L rolled his head so that he could sit up again, right as a young man entered their sitting area. "Can I get you anything, Sirs?"

Really? He had a flight attendant?

"I'll have a doughnut, please. Thank you."

Light sighed as the conversation turned from death to doughnuts.


	8. Decision

**At the bottom of this chapter is a question, and I'd love your honest input! Also, I had to get doughnuts for my wife and I in real life. I made myself crave them... and ice cream, and an energy drink (or four.) Cuddling with her, eating and drinking what I bought, writing this story and reading SO many of yours, is what is getting me through as I feel ****_bleh_****. **

* * *

L stared ahead and despite facing the window, he wasn't paying attention to the clouds. "What are you thinking about?" Light asked, turning his attention towards the detective. L looked over, barely turning his head. "What do you think, Light?"

Light cleared his throat, nodded and rested his head against the back of the couch. This flight was so boring even though he was filled with excitement, which didn't help, because he just wanted to land. Seven more hours. He groaned.

"You're so impatient, Light-Ku-" L caught himself, frowning. He dipped his spoon into his sundae, scooping up vanilla ice cream and fudge. "Really, L."

Light didn't quite understand what was wrong with L. He knew what was wrong, but he didn't **understand**. He didn't even have the Death Note. L treated him warmly when they first met, when he was sure that Light was Kira.

"I guess I am. How can you not be, L?"

"You know that, once we land, you can't call me that."

Light rolled his eyes. "I know, for fuck's sake, I'm smarter than you."

L looked over, staring into his eyes. Light shifted, until he noticed a small smile cross L's features. He smiled. L frowned. Light frowned. L shook his head, and stared back out the window.

* * *

L was still staring, and still not seeing. He blinked and pulled himself from his trance. Light was lying on the couch, his breathing quiet. L tilted his head, wondering how this happened. How Light could have fallen in love with him, and how Light could have changed, but... Light didn't change.

He was Kira.

L shifted and pulled his cell phone from his pocket, he had a message from Watari saying that nothing happened, there wasn't a single heart attack that could have been linked to Kira, that they knew of. L glanced back towards Light, who looked innocent in his sleep. L's heart hurt slightly and he sighed. Light had looked innocent this entire time, even after remembering that he was Kira. Well, for a short while, he did hold the look of Kira. But that was short lived.

But L decided that he didn't notice, and so when he looked Light's way, he saw the face of a monster. But right now, in the dark, with only a soft orange glow coming from the light, he let himself see the man who was in love with him... Maybe.

His best friend.

Who's love he couldn't return, if the man was even telling the truth.

L put his head in his hands, this was more troubling than the case.

This, he didn't understand.

This, he couldn't even attempt to understand.

Though he tried.

In this game, Light was winning. Could L turn this around, tell Light that he believed him and loved him or didn't believe him but loved him anyway? Would Light believe him?

So many thoughts rushed through L's mind, until he realized that his head was drooping and his mind was shutting down, and he was falling asleep.

* * *

**Okay, here's the question: I don't have this story planned, so I'm undecided. Do I go with the game, as mentioned above, or go on with the more serious side of this story? What would you prefer?**


End file.
